The Secret Life of San Miguel
The fantasy is false, at least for me.
There’s this idea that when you move somewhere new, you reinvent yourself.
After almost a year living full time in San Miguel de Allende, I haven’t changed.
But I have reinvented my life and the people in it. And I love it.
No one here knows who I was or what I did in my former life and really, they don’t care. People rarely ask.
It feels strange talking about the past because San Miguel is a place of presence. Plus no one’s trying to hustle you.
Last week my dear friend here Klaudia came over for lunch. We talked about what makes death beautiful, especially in Mexico.
She had just helped support two close friends through dying. Then we talked about how to contribute our superpowers to uplift San Miguel and have fun doing it.
After she left, I thought:
This is what my life sounds like now…
We didn’t gossip.
We didn’t complain about politics.
We didn’t dissect our romantic drama.
San Miguel breeds better conversations
And part of the magic is discovering the secret life of San Miguel.
Because San Miguel is constantly voted one of the best cities in the world, visitors spend months researching it online before they arrive. People thinking of moving here watch endless YouTube videos.
But the best part of San Miguel can never be found with a Google search.
San Miguel has always had an underground element.
It reminds me of the 1980s when I ran an underground nightlife hotline in college before the internet existed. I shared hot art openings, avant garde theater performances, poetry readings, concerts, raves, and private salons.
In San Miguel I’ve been invited to people’s homes:
Pop up dinners with visiting chefs.
Open artist studios.
Private concerts.
Sacred indigenous ceremonies.
Book clubs with local authors.
Film screenings in private gardens.
Gatherings with writers, musicians, healers, thinkers, and fascinating eccentrics.
Most of it is never publicly posted.
Maybe an Instagram story if you know the right person to follow.
There’s a version of San Miguel for visitors.
Then there’s the deeper local life.
But the locals have to invite you in.
Recently when my son and daughter in law visited my partner Jorge took us to the Valle de Maíz festival, one of the oldest traditional neighborhoods in San Miguel.
We arrived and 300 Mexicans were line dancing in the streets to “Achy Breaky Heart.” Fireworks exploded overhead. Churches overflowed with flowers. Street vendors lined the roads. Music blasted through the neighborhood.
Two giant robots dressed in sequins with Daft Punk style helmets danced on stage. Little kids ran through the crowds while families.
It felt like we were the only foreigners and people kept warmly pulling us into the dancing circle
That’s the side of Mexico I wish more people could experience.
Not just visiting San Miguel.
Being invited into it.
Another example: this month Jorge took me on an adventure to a winery where we sat in the barrel room of Cava Garambullo for a wine talk and tasting. The winemakers, a biologist and chemist couple, taught us about “noble rot” in wine making and blew my mind.
Afterwards we sat outside in the garden eating incredible bread, cured meats and local cheeses surrounded by passionate young Mexican intellectuals asking questions about science, farming, fermentation, and life.
I thought: How amazing is my life?!?
What I also love is not only being invited in, but being trusted enough to help these entrepreneurs survive and thrive.
Recently the owner of an underground Asian pop up restaurant called me. (There’s a diverse culinary scene here!)
Jorge and I had become regulars and started bringing small groups of friends. She added us to her secret WhatsApp group where she posts the menu each day.
But May and June are slow season in San Miguel. The snowbirds leave. Many locals travel. Small businesses struggle.
She asked if I could help her brainstorm ways to survive the summer.
I learned that years ago she and her Japanese husband travelled the world and owned a catering company in the United States cooking international comfort food.
Later in the U.S. she became a caregiver for the elderly and began studying nutrition and cooking for people with specific medical conditions and health needs.
So together we brainstormed ways to connect her with older expats here looking for health-specific personalized meals. I designed a flyer for her.
The next day I visited a friend who, heartbreakingly, had just learned she and her wife were both diagnosed with serious illnesses and needed someone to cook specialized meals for them.
The cook I met with lives around the corner from them.
I shared the flyer and made the match.
These are the moments that matter.
I left feeling grateful. Not because I “networked.”
But because I could help.
One of my favorite examples of life reimagined here is my friend Michael Solof.
Back in the United States he studied culinary arts, curated a pop culture and comic museum, loved photography, the Beatles, and slight of hand magic.
He moved to San Miguel six years ago in his mid 50s and slowly built a new life centered around creativity, photography, food, and community.
Now he teaches people how to use their iPhones to take beautiful photos around San Miguel.
But my favorite thing he created is the Adventure Hounds Culinary Gatherings. Because he wanted to meet people and try new restaurants, he started organizing weekly chef table dinners where strangers gather around long tables and leave as friends by the end of the night.
That’s San Miguel.
Small enough that new people are always arriving.
Open enough that strangers talk to each other.
And I’m humbled Michael credits me with helping change his life here too.
In my early days of living here, I saw one of his Facebook posts and sent him a blind message:
“Love what you’re doing. Want to come to my house for Shabbat dinner?”
He came and loved it.
One weekday morning the Rabbi needed Michael to help complete a prayer service honoring someone’s deceased father.
At the service the Rabbi discovered Michael had never been bar mitzvahed.
So they did one on the spot.
Mazal Tov!
Michael never imagined reconnecting with his Jewish roots in San Miguel, Mexico of all places.
But that’s what happened.
Now I just need to find him a wife!
So obviously one thing about me that hasn’t changed is being a matchmaker.
My TEDx talk, "Matchmaker in Work, Life and Love," is still the core of who I am.
Some people collect shoes or cars.
I collect people and their stories.
And then I connect them.
Artists to art collectors.
Foodies to private chefs.
Lifelong learners to great teachers.
Couples to future friends.
Athletes to teammates.
Philanthropists to causes.
People to purpose.
And of course… people to find love.
And now Casa Avra is evolving into more than a beautiful place to stay.
Increasingly, people are contacting me after researching San Miguel for months, sometimes years.
They say: "I want this life… but I don't know where to start."
So organically, Jorge and I have started helping people bridge that gap.
Twenty three years ago Jorge moved from Mexico City to help pioneer the organic food and wellness movement in San Miguel.
Today he's one of the most respected and ethical business people in town.
Because he's Mexican and deeply woven into the fabric of local life here, he opens doors into a side of San Miguel most foreigners never experience. Whether you’re trying to figure out healthcare, banking, contractors, cell phones or where to buy goat yogurt, it’s nice to have Jorge in your corner.
Jorge understands how life works here.
I understand how people work.
Together we help people become part of San Miguel.
Not just visiting San Miguel.
Being invited into it.
Some people rent my Casa Avra Casita for a week, a month, or longer and explore San Miguel on their own.
Others want more.
They want introductions.
They want help navigating healthcare, banking, housing, contractors, activities, nonprofits, social circles, and the practical realities of life here.
More and more, people reach out after researching San Miguel for months, sometimes years.
Some stay at Casa Avra.
Others stay at a hotel, Airbnb, or rental home.
What they all have in common is they want someone on the ground they can trust.
That's where Jorge and I come in.
Either way, we're happy to help.
My Casa Avra one bedroom + loft Casita with fabulous roof top views currently has availability this summer, fall, and winter.
Wondering if San Miguel might be part of your next chapter?
Let's talk.
+1 619 993 9077
P.S. Since writing this article, I've had several conversations with single men and women who tell me the same thing:
"I love my life in San Miguel. I just wish I had someone to share it with." OR
“I’d love to explore living in San Miguel, but would love to come down on a dating/discovery mission.”
So I'm exploring a new idea: a highly curated matchmaking dinners for accomplished singles. Dinners for English and Spanish speakers. Dinners for different sexual orientation. Think great food, meaningful conversation, storytelling, and connection.
Participation would be by application, interview, and invitation only.
If you'd like to learn more, send me a note.